If a Horse Was Elected President...

Posted by Stacey Venzel

What if an equine candidate took the presidential oath?

If a horse was elected for the next presidential term, the U.S. would see a lot of changes. Life would perhaps become less stressful with the potential increase in land dedicated to nature, and a few more national holidays might pop up.

Here are some laws that could be written or re-written if a horse was elected president:

 1. Lots of neigh-saying.

Be prepared for a lot of presidential vetoing, as "neigh"-saying is in a horse's nature.

 2. No BLM horse round-up.

Forget the mass sterilization and relocation of wild horses by the U.S. Bureau of Land Management. An equine president would let horses have free run of the land, just like the pre-civilization days.

wild horses

 3. Best dressed at the podium.

With braided manes and beautiful saddles, POTUS never looked so good.

 4. Tax breaks on horse trailers.

Eco-friendly cars started a trend with tax breaks. A horse president would carry that trend over to horse trailers, because to a show horse, that's the best way to get around.

 5. Free counseling.

Commonly trained for therapy, horses assist humans battling trauma, mental disorders, and illness, so they know the necessity of counseling services.

An equine running the country would add free therapy to the Health Marketplace plans.

horse president

 6. Less city, more country.

Zoning regulations would change dramatically as an equine leader pushed for more open farm land and wilderness and less suburbs and skyscrapers.

 7. National holiday for show parents.

Equestrians and their horses know the dedication of show moms and dads, so an equine president would make sure they get a day just to them.

horse

 8. National holiday for Kentucky Derby.

Businesses would be closed for the new Kentucky Derby government holiday, because a horse knows you can't fully take in the races if you're stuck at work.

 9. Push for agriculture curriculum.

The school day might have hands-on classes added that deal with life around the barn.

horse president

 10. Pardons for prisoners in animal foster programs.

Horses and humans offer each other second chances in prison foster programs, and a horse president might believe in those second chances outside of a jail cell.

 11. White House renovations.

The Oval Office could start to look more like a wooden barn than a fancy place of business.

Do you think a horse would make a good president? There's always the option for a write-in candidate...

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If a Horse Was Elected President...