30 Cow Jokes That'll Amoooose You For Hours!

Posted by Christy Caplan

Cows are on the top of our list when it comes to our fave livestock! Naturally, we had to come up with a list of puns for our fellow homesteaders to use when they're chatting with friends and family. Before we dive into our list, we wanted to share a fact that we think everyone should have on their radar. Is a cow different than a heifer?

Quick fun fact about cows vs. heifers:

Cow: a mature female bovine that has given birth to at least one or two calves. Colloquially, the term "cow" is also in reference to the Bos primigenius species of domestic cattle, regardless of age, gender, breed or type. However, for most people who work with or raise cattle, this term is not used in the same reference as previously noted.

Heifer: a female bovine (often immature, but beyond the "calf" stage) less than 1 to 2 years of age that has never calved. Such females, if they've never calved beyond two years of age may also be called heiferettes.

Here are 12 amooosing (oh yes, pun totally intended) cow puns you can regale your friends with. They might never forgive you.

Cow Jokes and Puns

1. I get what you were going for... But you totally butchered that joke.

2. I don't normally eat big meals. I'm more of a grazer.

3. Don't mess this up. The steaks are high.

bull-487021_12804. That excuse you gave was a bunch of bull.

5. If you give her any attitude... She'll tan your hide.

6. Don't act rashly. Take stock of the situation first.

cow-952199_12807. Make sure you show up on time. If you get there late, she'll have a cow.

8. Seriously, have I ever steered you wrong?

9. It's nearly impossible to hurt his feelings. He has leather skin.

10. Got some leverage? Milk it for all it's worth.

udder-7481_128011. I have some real beef with him.

12. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You need to grab it by the horns.

More of The Internet's Favorite Cow Puns

13. A cow will never tell you a lie because they simply give you no bull.

14. The nursery rhyme cow was so excited about his new job that he was over the moon.

15. Always massage a cow's back right before you think about putting it out to posture.

16. One of the problems when you have invisible cows is that they are herd but they are not seen.

17. The nursery rhyme cow was so excited about his new job that he was over the moon.

18. The farmer who got attacked by a cow took him to court to milk him for all he was worth.

19. The nursery rhyme cow was so excited about his new job that he was over the moon.

20. It must have been a bovine intervention that the cow saved my life yesterday.

21. The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-od.

22. The little baby cow was told to get to bed because it was way pasture bedtime.

23. When a cow is not giving milk each day, there must be an udder problem.

24. The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.

25. Farmer Brown's cows are the funniest in the land, often referred to as the laughing stock.

26. If you see a cow climbing to the top of a hill, then you know the cream is rising to the top.

27. If you come across a cow with no legs, consider it some real ground beef.

28. The reason Sally stopped telling cow puns was that she always butchered them.

29. The farmer thought he only counted 299 cows in the pasture, but after he rounded them up, he now had 300.

30. One of the reasons that I have never tipped a cow was because I have never been served by a cow before.

There are so many moooves, we couldn't help it with this list of animal puns. Don't have a cow? Hoping to move to a home with greener pastures? Dairy cows are beautiful, and it will be nice to watch out your window.

Think you've heard some of these puns before? You might have a case of... deja moo!

One day, you'll find yourself in a conversation with the perfect opening for one of these bad puns. And, holy cow, when you do, let 'er rip.

Rest assured, it will be udderly satisfying.

This article was originally published in May 2020.

READ MORE: 37 Hisssssssterical Snake Jokes and Puns

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30 Cow Jokes That'll Amoooose You For Hours!