Animal Shelter Posts Hilariously True Description of "Bastard Cat" up for Adoption

Posted by Paige Cerulli
adoptable cat

One animal shelter's description of a very unique cat is gaining attention all over the world for its brutal honesty. 

An animal shelter faces the challenging task of finding all of its animals a home. Shelters use all sorts of different techniques to help pets stand out so that they may make a connection with a potential adopter. But one animal shelter has taken things one step further with a hilariously honest description about a cat available for adoption.

The description for Mr. Biggles, a domestic short hair cat, comes from the Cat People of Melbourne, located in Australia. And we're going to warn you now - it's hilarious. Here it is!

Mr Biggles (also known as Lord Bigglesworth) is an utter utter utter bastard. He looks gorgeous with his slinky shiny black fur and big yellow eyes... but beware. If he doesn't like what you're doing he will give you a nip! Sometimes he likes to swipe at your feet too. It just depends on what he can reach at the time.

Mr Biggles does not like to be thwarted. He throws a catty tantrum if he can't go outside when he wants to be let out (and he wasn't allowed outside for the first couple of weeks at his carers house so there was a few tantrums!). Not being fed on time, or allowed to strut across the kitchen benches helping himself to whatever is there is also a tantrum inducing exercise.

Mr Biggles is a despot and dictator, he will let you know he is not happy, which is often because things are often just not up to his high standards. There is some warning that Lord Bigglesworth is displeased with you, his eyes will go dark and tail will start swishing harder. Mr Biggles likes his cuddles on his terms, and will sit in your lap when he decides it's time. If the stroking is not up to his standards, he will nip you.

catShhhhh... Mr Biggles does have a secret soft side... he plays with kittens and actually does love a cuddle from time to time. He loves to be involved with what you're doing and loves to have a chat, he will respond if you talk to him. While he's not a fan of being picked up, likes a pat and cuddle from time to time and even permits kisses on his shiny black head if he's feeling mellow. He loves sleeping on the end of the humans bed, and in his cat bed (and he snores just a little bit, it's so cute). He loves to be out in the backyard stalking the chickens and supervising the gardening, and he has been saying playing with the dog (and not drawing blood).

And now I'm in trouble for telling his softie secrets so I have been ordered to say that Lord Bigglesworth believes he was put on this earth to be decorative and be worshipped by his human slaves!

Mr Biggles is not a cat for the inexperienced or faint hearted. He is a full blooded tomcat with very firm boundaries. Mr Biggles needs an owner that won't take his nipping personally but won't let him get away with bad behaviour either. He will make the right person an exceptional feline companion for life, because when he gives his heart it will be absolutely and fully given without return. Are you that one special person for Mr Biggles?

catIt sounds like life with Mr. Biggles would be quite the experience, indeed. A dictator cat who throws tantrums? Mr. Biggles knows exactly what he wants, and clearly he's not afraid to take it, according to the animal shelter. But don't worry, there's a way to the cat's heart: Through his stomach.

Mr Biggles is a stupidly healthy raw fed cat but he will eat anything including your dinner if he can get away with it.

If you think you might have the perfect home for Mr. Biggles, you can see his full profile here.

All images via Cat People of Melbourne via Pet Rescue

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Animal Shelter Posts Hilariously True Description of "Bastard Cat" up for Adoption