Hopefully a real veterinarian's day isn't anything like this Sims one.
Sims, the popular life-simulation video game, has just gotten better because Sims 4 comes with a Dogs & Cats expansion pack that allows you to be a veterinarian...and apparently the experience is hilarious.
Writer Christopher Livingston reviewed the game, which was released Nov. 10, for PC Gamer, and you'll be hard pressed to get through the review without literally laughing out loud.
After starting off the day by setting the kitchen and subsequently his cat on fire (don't worry, the cat was fine...and virtual), he heads to his first day of work in the animal hospital he just purchased. Naturally he took all six of his dogs and the poor cat to work with him, where they proceed to run amuck in the waiting room.
Meanwhile, he begins to explore the fancy equipment in the new hospital.
"...curious how the animal hospital functions, I take my burned cat and run him through the neutering machine, then do it again to de-neuter him (I guess it's a magical animal hospital), and then once more to de-deneuter him. If I've kept count properly, my cat currently doesn't have balls, but does have some hope that he may someday have balls again."
The first official patient is a dog named Ragtime who appears to have "radioactive feet," a real stumper for the first day on the job.
"Having been a vet for only the past four minutes, I don't know what surgery is appropriate for radioactive feet. I personally would advise cutting the dog's feet off and burying them deep underground in a lead-lined concrete plug, but that's not one of the options....Instead, I neuter Ragtime. Look, I dunno, it's generally recommended by vets anyway, right? And it's probably best to not let radioactive dogs breed, that's how you wind up with monsters."
There are employee problems, too. First Livingston hires an employee who falls asleep on the lobby couch. Since his dogs have made a mess of the waiting room, he hopes she has some initiative. As it turns out, she does. Just for the wrong thing.
"After I take a dog with a glowing nose into the examining room (my keen veterinarian senses tell me its nose is sick), she takes another dog into the room next to mine and starts examining it. Frankly, that feels a bit presumptuous...There's an option to turn off her ability to examine animals so she'll stick to more of a support staff role, but I really shouldn't have to use it, should I? When you show up for your first day of work for a boss with much more experience (it's my second day) and there's puddles urine everywhere, you should know that's your priority, not making sure patients are seen promptly."
While Livingston never officially endorses the game one way or another, the hilarity of a day in the life of a Sims vet is sure to make readers want to give the game a try themselves, if just for the "deneutering."
We can only hope that a real vet's day on the job isn't anything like this.
Are you interested in playing Sims 4: Cats & Dogs? Share your thoughts below.
All images via PC Gamer.
WATCH NOW: Cute Cat Videos Actually Make You More Productive!